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INTRODUCTION: UNDERSTANDING THE ISSUE OF SELF-ESTEEM

Would you say you're a prideful person? Chances are you wouldn't because of course we equate pride with vanity and arrogance. A prideful person must always be bragging about what they have, where they've been, and why they're so much better than you.

Would you say you have self-esteem or self-confidence? While pride is often equated with arrogance, self-esteem and self-confidence are typically things that we admire in others and want for ourselves. When we see a colleague gracefully making a presentation at the office or a classmate breezing through a speech, we wonder how they can do that so easily and wish we had their confidence. And when we get nervous over the smallest class participation or question asked by the boss, we realize how a lack of confidence and esteem can cost us dearly.

But what really is meant by self-confidence? What is self-esteem? Why are these things good but we think of pride as being bad?

Why are these things important in one's everyday life? How can a lack of self-esteem hurt you and how can enough of it be a real asset to you? And of course the biggest question of all, how can you build it in your life?

DEFINING SELF-ESTEEM
Just what is self-esteem? How is it different from pride or arrogance?

To define this term, think of the word "esteem" in general. When you esteem something you hold it in high regard. You treat it well. So self esteem means that you value yourself and hold yourself in high regard.

Self-confidence can spring from self-esteem and they usually go hand in hand. When you hold yourself in high regard and consider yourself as worthy of respect, then you have confidence in yourself. This doesn't mean that you don't recognize your flaws and quirks, but you know that overall you're just as important and just as worthy as the next person.

But what about pride? How is this different and why is pride often considered a bad thing? Excessive pride means not just putting a value on yourself but putting a value that is above the value of others. When you're too prideful you put more value on yourself than is necessary and often allow this to lead to hurtful actions. Someone that is too prideful may indulge their own wants while neglecting the needs of their family. They may brag about something they have in front of someone that doesn't have these things without any concern for how it makes that person feel.

In many circumstances pride has certainly lead to hurtful acts, but a measure of pride is not necessarily a bad thing. When a person takes pride in their home, they keep it well maintained and clean. When they take pride in their appearance, they mind their hygiene and arrange themselves nicely when it comes to their hair and clothing. Taking pride in one's children can be a good thing as well, to a certain extent.

It might be said that the key here is balance. You can esteem something without putting it on a pedestal where it doesn't belong. You can have selfconfidence and a measure of pride without letting these things hurt others.

If you're balanced in your attitude then you're sure to have self-confidence and self-esteem without being too prideful.

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-- Edited by Loot on Tuesday 18th of May 2010 07:00:58 AM